Natural Busta!

I think it is time that we realize that Mother Nature is a Busta and she is pissed. It takes a true and powerful Busta to wipe 1/4 million people off the planet in about three days. Amazing and annoying! I know some of you are thinking you shouldn't call Mother Nature a Busta because she will smite more people. I don't give a damn! It is time someone calls her out and that is what we do here at Bustas, Inc. 

I do understand her anger and frustration. (See Global Warming) However, I think her outburst, or Bustaburst(tm), should be more targeted. See the entries below. 

At Bustas, Inc., we hope that exposing Bustas will impact their behavior. Something tells me we will see more evidence of this Busta in the future.

-The Chairman

Rich Uncle Pennybags, A.K.A. Mr. Monopoly

Rich Uncle Pennybags is the most dastardly trademark of imperialist capitalism and mustachioed tomfoolery since Cap'n Crunch. He is a vagrant and a busta.

And don't let those coolio smoke rings fool you. This guy is pure freak. Ever look at the cards in Monopoly? I mean, really look at them? The top hat terrorist hands out cash and out-of-jail passes like it's nothing -- obviously well connected to the wrong crowd.




Among certain informed circles Mr. Pennybags is infamous for his his addiction to psychostimulant drugs, which only agitates his penchant for breakdancing.

By Your Side - Busta Lies!

Posting this Busta truly saddens my heart. However, Sade is with out a doubt a busta - this woman has not released an album, gone on tour, or probably even sang in the shower since the year 2000. What does she do all day? Being a Sade fan really puts the sad in sadistic. Seriously Sade, make some new music.

Back to Busta

Yeah, we know you are no good! Neither is that funk on your Busta-Ass face. Amy Winehouse is a total Busta because she actually has a good deal of talent going to waste. Rather than capitalize on it and be a good musician she wants to smoke crack and get alien skin infections.

She was arrested again, today. Apparently, for smoking crack on  video. I would arrest her for being ugly on video. (Check out the pictures in the linked article. She is wearing some sort of bikini, but there is no beach or Sun.)

There is no doubt in my mind that this chick is a Busta. I just hope she goes to Busta rehab, and learns how to be less of a Busta.

Iron Man: Busta

Here's the thing about Marvel's Tin Man, who just made his big screen debut strapped to Robert Downey's coke joke revoked body: he has all the disadvantages of Batman's lack of super powers, but hardly any of the awesomeness with which the caped crusader compensates.

Does this sound familiar? Rich playboy moonlights as a rapper and fights crime on the side, using his unexplained genius in physics, hot rods and primary colors. The difference? Iron Man is a crap detective who picks his battles and only fights communists. Like a busta.

He also has some of the lamest enemies (the linked list puts "alcoholism" at the top) I've ever heard of, including but not limited to Mandroids, Controller (a mind controlling scientist) and Iron Monger.

Iron Monger.

Iron Monger is actually featured in the movie, according to Wikipedia (I always accord to Wikipedia), because director Jon Favreau wanted a villain who would "dwarf Iron Man à la RoboCop 2." Favreau does have some taste though, as evidenced by his decision to omit the name Iron Monger from the film.

But that reminds me that villains attempting to create suits like Iron Man's and play his own tricks on him is a running theme in the storyline. Which is old after the first time.



Did I mention Iron Man's an alcoholic? Perhaps his only saving grace. An alcoholic robot. They should have just called him that.

BustCasts: Good Stories, LOLcanoes, prizes!

Prize to the first busta to come up with a better name for Bustas, Inc. podcasts than BustCasts. Cut me some slack, my friend's sister/wife is pregnant. I'm stressed.

Listen to the chairman's dream:

Windows Busta

WARNING: This is a website feature called a 'blog post.' Press 'OK' to continue, or 'report' to send information about the problem to Microsoft.

People react to Windows Vista in one of two ways. Either they don't know it exists because their company's IT department smartly refuses the upgrade, or they hate it because it's such a Busta.

In fact, they should have just called Microsoft Busta.




Vista's codename during its top-secret development was "Longhorn," which is kind of ironic considering its positively flacid public release in January. Leading up to the release Microsoft kept details tightly under wraps, perhaps to create the illusion someone was interested in them. Microsoft has entire cubicle farms dedicated to populating the internet with fake forums and blogs speculating about its new products and how awesome they are, not unlike KSU President Lester Lefton's editing of his own Wikipedia page to include a section called "popular." What a douchebag.

One of the most annoying things about Windows XP is all the messages that pop up on your screen to tell you ways Microsoft wants to improve your user experience. Clearly a glutton for irony, Microsoft has increased the number of pop-ups and confusing error messages tenfold in Vista. Some, like the one above, are so insulting you have to laugh to keep from crying.

Anyway, Vista sucks.

An Afternoon in Busta

For the past week or so I've been debating whether or not this girl is a true Busta. The Chairman had assured me awhile back, that, yes, yes, she was. I however, was not certain the internets could properly convey her Bustaness as some things are lost in translation.

Onward...

Everybody loves a groupie, right? Of course. So, there's this girl, pictured above. She's what I'd call a groupie. Her band of choice is the Slackers. At every Slackers show she runs to the stage and pretends to be a bouncer, stands front and center, shouting words that aren't the Slackers. As she rushes forth her beer gut flops around, she spills beer, sweat oozes from her being, her hair a matted mess, her too small clothes squeeze her excess skin in obscene ways.

No matter where you stand, no matter where you try to hide, this Busta's loud voice and dancing body will find you, and make you squirm. She'll take the ska out of skanking, she'll make your blood boil, she'll make you wish you were the Busta and she were on the receiving end.