BRB Bustas

I think it's time we clearly define the word "right." As in, "I'll call you right back." In my humble opinion, insertion of the word "right" invokes a sense of urgency. As in, "I'll call you back within the next ten or fifteen minutes." Some loose "right" users may even intend to call within the hour. Those people should be lightly admonished, but if you are among the Bustas who tell someone that you will call them "right back" and then fail to do so for hours, shame on you!

DISCLAIMER: Those in extremely close friendly relationships are, for the most part, exempt from my criticism. I still think that the word "right" should be used delicately, but we all know that phone rules rarely apply to best friends and that you are in fact permitted to treat them like shit.

Babysitting Bustas

Parents can be a pain. Other people's parents, that is. This babysitter has provided childcare services to dozens of sets of parents and feels qualified to label some of them Bustas.

For example: (1) parent who expects said babysitter to chauffeur their child all over the city during record high gasoline prices and doesn't offer to pay babysitter's gas, or (2) parent who refuses to acknowledge babysitter's presence when she is in the same room as parent, or (3) parents who rounds down in calculating rate and pays in very large, nearly unbreakable bills, or (4) parent who is practically unreachable save through an assistant who is never fully informed, or (5) parent whose response to babysitter apologizing for being sick (because whether or not babysitter is sick is completely within babysitter's control) is, "[nervous laugh] Well, you know..."

Yeah, I do.

Bustas in the Bathroom

This one goes out to anyone who has had to deal with that guy or lady in the bathroom who just doesn't know when to shut up and let someone poop in peace.

I think any reasonable person can agree that a little doorway conversation is appropriate.

"Hey, Jim Bob Duggar."
"Oh hey, Georgia. How's it goin'."
"Yup, yup."

No problem.

The issue is that some people don't understand that a stall door is more than just some aluminum that swings (but rarely latches) between two thin walls. The truth is that little door swings between dimensions and, more importantly, states of mind and being. When you go into that stall, you become the beast that nature intended.

In beast mode, man is not meant to continue his discussion of how the Indians are really sucking this week, or that doozy of a hail storm that dented up your new RV the other night, or how much you'd like to tap that new intern who went to high school with your daughter.

These topics of discussion are perfectly acceptable at any other time, in any other setting. But once that door is is closed, I only talk one language, and that's poop.





Also, don't stink up the bathroom right before I get in there, okay? We all know it was you, and this is my place to be disgusting.

Chainlink Fences

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3, 2008 WWW.USDOJ.GOV

CRM (773) 432-4138 BustasInc.com

CHAINLINK FENCE ARRESTED ON ASSAULT INDICTMENT

AKRON, OH - Assistant Attorney General Christopher A. Wray of the Criminal Division today announced that a chainlink fence, 26, of Cleveland, Ohio, has been arrested on a seven-count indictment returned by a federal grand jury in Akron on May 30, 2008. The fence was arrested today by agents of the U. S. Postal Inspection Service, the U. S. Secret Service in Cleveland, Ohio, and the U.S. Marshals Northern Ohio Violent Fugitive Bustas Task Force pursuant to an arrest warrant. The fence is scheduled to appear at a bond hearing this afternoon before a U.S. Magistrate Judge of the United States District Court for the Ninth District of Ohio, Akron Division.

The indictment charges that the chainlink fence defrauded the victim, Colin Morris, concerning its height from the ground on the side opposite that from which Morris was traversing the fence. In addition causing Morris a proper panic during the jump, the fence done knife his punk ass in the hand for his tomfoolery, causing the victim to bleed profusely and require emergency medical treatment. He received three stitches and his mother was very worried.

Previously, in related cases, barbed wire fences and gravelly roads have pleaded guilty to separate Informations charging them with conspiracy and both have served sentences on prior convictions. Both are bustas.

The investigation by the U.S. Secret Service and U.S. Postal Inspection Service is ongoing. Jim Bob Duggar is Acting United States Attorney for this case, and the prosecution is being handled by Georgia and Maebe Booth, attorneys for the Fraud Section, Criminal Division of the United States Department of Justice.

Members of the public are reminded that the indictment contains only charges. A defendant is presumed innocent of the charges and it will be the government’s burden to prove a defendant’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt at trial.

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04-158

Sickmouf Busta

I can has oreo :: I can has filfy teefs

I can 12 oreos :: total mudmouth, yuck city

I'm in Acme, eyeing your milks :: $1.59 for topsy tummytron


Oreos, you so goods, butt you nasty in my face.